Well, it would appear that I have been away for a little while. Ah, but appearances aren’t everything, now are they? I have not been gone at all. Just displaced.
Okay, maybe not displaced, but diverted. Yes, diverted I think it is. In a good way. Yet tonight, I feel like telling a story.
Once upon a time….
Well, holy crap, right there… already. “Once Upon A Time????” What the heck kind of introduction is that? I never start stories with once upon a time. Let me have a do over.
There was a cow. Named Melvin. He lived in a field, with all the other cows. Melvin was a beef cow. Yeah. Not good for Mel, in the end. But all in all, he had a pretty decent life. He lived on a good farm… lots of room to roam, and graze. On Saturday nights, he and the other cows would get together in the north pasture and break dance, drink fruit punch, and eat sugar cookies. Happy Cows.
On a Tuesday……. I think it was… Melvin was out grazing with his buddy Bug-Eye Louie. He was about to bite of a clump of grass, when all of a sudden he heard a little voice. “Hey! Watch it! Will ya’ bud?”
Melvin mooed with surprise? Now, what in the world was this? He looked down, and there before him, was a little band of Skidgenmites. For those of you who don’t know, Skidgenmites… prounounced Skidgenmites….. are little teeny beings… about one-and-three-quarters inches high. They resemble Smurfs… without the white hats. Skidgenmites actually don’t have the white little disco pants that Smurfs wear either. And they aren’t blue in color. They are a light purple. Okay, come to think of it…. they don’t look like Smurfs at all.
Anyway. The King of the Skidgenmites called out to Melvin… “Good sir. Don’t you fear the dreaded Troll Highmakkin?”
Melvin replied, “Nope.”
“Oh, for goodness sakes. That old Troll… we call that ugly Troll “High” for short… … ..High will gobble you up in a minute.”
Melvin again answered…”I have never noticed a troll in these parts before.”
“Well, beware!” King of the Skidgenmites yelled.
The next day, Melvin was out grazing again. On a Wednesday. He was about to chomp a clod of grass…. when out jumped a little ugly-to-the-bone Troll. The Troll was about eight inches high. Comparatively small to a cow. But much, much larger to a Skidgenmite.
Melvin stood quietly. Then. The reality began to unfold. He could faintly hear…… a little voice. He leaned down… closer to the Troll… and listened. The noise seemed to be coming from High’s belly.
All at once, it became painfully clear to Melvin what had happened. The Troll had, in fact, gobbled down the Skidgenmites. All of them. He heard the voice once again…. little Skidgenmites calling out…..
“High Ate Us. High Ate Us.”
And there you have it.
“A hidden connection is stronger than an obvious one.” – Heraclitus of Ephesus