Jan 28

Rocky VII

Between a rock and a hard place.

I always sort of knew what it meant.  I’ve even felt like I’ve been there on occasion, between a rock and a hard place.  But I see, now, that such places actually exist in physical space, not just metaphorical space.    I’m not sure I can post a picture here, of where the sun don’t shine…..

Jan 27

Car #56 In Action…. and Reaction.

We all have different likes and dislikes, don’t we?   I mean what I think is cool, or beautiful, or nice, or funny, may be something very different for someone else.   You, or you, may have an entirely different viewpoint on the exact same item, or topic, or idea.  Take my sock-monkey-winter-hat, for example.  I love that thing.  But the other day, I was wearing it, and someone passed me on the street…. and as she walked by, I heard her say…..”Ooooohhhh.  That’s so sad…….”    My guess is, they thought I was “out” on some sort of pass, or something….

Or how about Car No. 56 here.  I probably wouldn’t have chosen to paint a 56 on the side of my convertible.  I like the number well enough.  I met a Cow #56 once.  But if I painted any number on the side of my car (which probably would not be a blue convertible to begin with….) I’d paint a number seven, I think.  Or an eight.  I’d paint it green or orange, but not yellow.

So there you have it.  THAT, is what makes the world go ’round. (Well, really it is the Conservation of Angular Momentum…. or maybe it is love…..   but that is for another post.)

Jan 26

Bend over backwards and play second fiddle.

There are a lot of phrases out there, and “sayings” that people toss around.  Some they even claim to “live” by.

“An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.”
“A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.”
“Not worth a plugged nickel.” Those are all worth comparisons….. and there are many more.. not worth mentioning.

But what the heck… I’ll continue.   People then go all crazy for them, like “feathering their nests” and “stealing someone’s thunder.” They’ll “cast the first stone”… “do things by the seat of their pants”….. “turn over a new leaf”…. and on occasion, even “pull some strings.” They can be “on the ball”…”on the wagon”….. or even “on the warpath.”

I could go on for days….. but I’ll put a cork in it now.  But is any of this ringing a bell?

Okay, finally, the one that scared me… horribly….. when I was a child:

“There’s more than one way to skin a cat.” (Probably because someone let it out of the gosh-darn bag.)

You know, a little bird told me that this episode has gone to the dogs.

That’s the tail end of this, I’ll tell you.  Over and out.

Jan 25

Dozing Off….

I’ve always wanted to drive a bulldozer.  Just once. Wear a cute little blue hat and a red kerchief around my neck.  Push some dirt around.  Move the earth.  “I feel the earth, move… under my feet. I feel the pie crumblin’ clown… the crumblin’ clown.”

But when I was little, I took a No-Doze pill.  It appears the effects were long-lasting.   Even now, I don’t drive a bulldozer…. and I stay up late at night.  Appears it impacts your ability to recount song lyrics correctly.

“Nobody Doze the Trouble I’ve Seen….. ”

And since we are on the topic of breaking out of the box… I am thinking of new ideas and names for the Continuum, or Round Two, of this Project.  Since 372 is almost up….. a new project must begin.  Any ideas?  Anyone?  Anyone?

…..aaannnnnnnnnnnnnddddddddd…… another thing I might do is add some other sections, like the one I am trying out here, called “Mirth”.   From time to time, people send me fun things, good fun things…. and I’d like to share them with you.  Like crumbling clowns and such.

Mirth:  http://www.kronytown.com/372/?page_id=2377 This LINK can be found at the top on any 372 page.  It is called…..Mirth.

Jan 24

This is NO Joke…..

Well, you know it happens.  I  mean, we’ve all heard the stories, we’ve seen it on the news…… for crying out loud, they even make entire cartoon episodes about it.  People have written countless jokes, and it has become the poster-child for the “accidental” occurrences in life.  But how often do you ACTUALLY see it?

In all my years, I never had.  Not once.   But today, on the way home from a nice walk with Max and Fritz, I had a sighting.  The legendary banana peel on the sidewalk.  Hell, I nearly slipped and fell on the thing.

I ran all the way home with the dogs, grabbed my camera, and doubled-back to record the proof.  By the time I returned, three clowns had fallen prey to this thing.  They were sprawled everywhere on the sidewalk.  (Should never have gotten out their little clown car. What a bunch of bozos.)   I could almost hear that peel goading them……“Have a nice trip.  See you next fall.” What an exciting and proud moment that was for me…. to have witnessed such an epic event as this.  No joke.

Jan 23

What Color Was Your School Bus?

My quest today was to find and shoot things that were black and gold.  This was one of the few things I found…. there were street signs…. caution tape…not much else.  Why black and gold?  Because I was hoping the Pittsburgh Steelers would beat the NY Jets tonight and head to the Super Bowl.  Which they did, and they are.  Now  I  sit here wondering why school buses are black and gold.
I never really had to ride a school bus.  Not really.  In grade school, we walked most of the time.   But when the weather was all crappy…. like pouring down rain or something….. we’d pile into the family station wagon and Mom would take us.

In high school, I had to ride the RTA.  Regional Transit Authority.  (It was green and white, like the NY Jets.)  All the way downtown, with every other commuter in the world, every day, I rode.  I saw some crazy-go-nuts things on the old Number Seven Route, I’ll tell you.    I had a bus pass.  Most people had to put change in the R2D2 at the front of the bus if they wanted a ride.  Maybe, instead of the book “What Color is Your Parachute?”  I shall write one called “What Color was Your School Bus?”

That’s all I’m going to say about that.  And… Go Steelers.

Found the answer….for why…..I guess…..  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/School_bus_yellow

Jan 22

The scariest things…

Some people “scare” easier than others.  And it is funny too, what may scare me, may not scare you.   Aaaaaannnnnndddddd…… our fears change.   Take spiders for instance.   I used to be deathly afraid of them.  I still know lots of people who are.  Now, I can pick one up and look it in the eyes.  They’ll bite you.    Or how about lizards.  I fear them not….  but once I used to.  Flying. Same thing.  Maybe I’m just getting older, and my senses are dulling.  My senses are dulling………..Fact.
Certain movies scare me.  I was watching one tonight, and I got the heebie-jeebies.  Had to turn to The Smurfs.

The Chicago Film Critics Association has compiled a list of the top 100 Scariest Movies of All Time. I reprint the first 50 here for you.
1. “Psycho”
2. “The Exorcist”
3. “Halloween”
4. “Alien”
5. “Night of the Living Dead (1968)”
6. “Jaws”
7. “The Shining”
8. “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)”
9. “Dawn of the Dead (1978)”
10. “Rosemary’s Baby”
11. “The Silence of the Lambs”
12. “The Blair Witch Project”
13. “Nosferatu”
14. “Frankenstein (1931)”
15. “Nightmare on Elm Street”
16. “Carrie (1976)”
17. “The Thing (1982)”
18. “Bride of Frankenstein”
19. “The Haunting (1963)”
20. “Poltergeist”
21. “Suspiria”
22. “Wait Until Dark”
23. “The Birds”
24. “Don’t Look Now”
25. “Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn”
26. “The Innocents”
27. “Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer”
28. “Freaks”
29. “Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956)”
30. “The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, (1921)”
31. “The Omen (1976)”
32. “The Fly (1986)”
33. “Seven”
34. “The Re-Animator”
35. “The Sixth Sense”
36. “The Ring (2002)”
37. “The Evil Dead”
38. “Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde (1933)”
39. “The Hitcher”
40. “Near Dark”
41. “Dracula (1931)”
42. “Vampyr (1932)”
43. “Onibaba”
44. “Scream”
45. “Aliens”
46. “Creature from the Black Lagoon”
47. “Session 9”
48. “Nosferatu the Vampyre”
49. “Black Christmas”
50. “When a Stranger Calls”

The Whole List

Jan 21

My Good Dogs.

My Good Dogs.  I have two, or perhaps more accurately, they have me.  I don’t ask them to do tricks, and thankfully, they don’t require the same of me.  However, today at the Dog Park, it was just the three of us, out there running around, sniffing the wind, scratching behind our ears…. and I thought…. “Oh.  Let’s Do Dog Impressions……. I’ll go first.”  I did my imitation of a Bulldog.   I had drool all running down my face, and was shuffling around all bow-legged, snorting like crazy.   They howled.  Frances peed she laughed so hard.  Wait, she pees everywhere at the dog park…..   So then I said, Frances, pretend you are a Pointer.  Which she did….

Not bad Frances.  Next, I said, “Okay Max.  You go.  Pretend YOU are a Pointer.”   This was not as easy…..  Maxie huffed, “I’m not doin’ it.  Stupid game over.”

“Awwwwwwwww.  C’mon Max.”…………………..”Hmmmph.  Well.  If I HAVE TO…..”

“Woooooo Hoooooo Maxine.  YOU ROCK!!!!,” we shouted with utter jubilation.  Then, she whipped around and said,  “Nobody ELSE saw that crap, did they…..??????  If that ends up on You Tube, I swear to Dog……”

My Good Dogs.

Jan 20

372 Going Out of Business Sale

Well, this too shall pass….. About  2  1/2 more weeks before this project comes to a close.  Probably won’t be on any Trivial Pursuit Game Card, or anything.  But it has been fun.  I’ve learned a lot from this project.  Mucho.

Speaking of Trivial Pursuit….. it reminds me of a story.  We used to play that game a LOT when I was in my early to mid-20s.  One night, there was a group of us, cahooting and cajoling over a game.  The question was read to our team (by opposing team member, Ms. Jenny Pratt)….. “Who was the first U.S. President to have an assassination attempt made on his life?”  Well, my sister and I knocked around a ton of possible answers.  “Could it have been John Adams?  People didn’t like Adams…. no….. what about Jefferson?  Nah….. I don’t really remember what our final answer was….. but let’s say ‘Adams’.  Jenny turned over the card, looked down to the answer, and proclaimed with utter confidence…… “Nope.  You’re wrong.  It was Freddy the Freeloader.”   Oh my god, we laughed and laughed.  She was dead serious.  She kept saying… “What?  What’s so funny?”  I’m sitting here at my keyboard laughing about it right now……  …………  oh my goodness………………..    ……………………  I didn’t even know Freddy the Freeloader was a President!

🙂

Hope 372 has given you some laughs.  The countdown begins.

Jan 19

The Conversation

He….. sold the family cow…. for a little bit of nothing.

You see…….For years, they kept the Chock-Full-O-Nuts Coffee Can filled with the cash they had amassed.  They scrimped.  They saved.   It wasn’t much, but it was theirs.  Last week, he bought a huge box of Sea Monkeys with it.  And for what?  The water got cloudy and the whole lot of them died in 3 days.

She looks like she is being quite understanding.  But inside she is boiling over, seething mad.  See how her knuckles are turning all white and the little veins popping out in her neck?   He senses her indignation.   She thinks to herself, “He’s gotten into another one of those lame-brained, get-rich-quick, schemes.”  And she was right.  “I sent him into town to sell the family cow, and he managed to screw that up to no end.”

Yes, in fact, he had.  He took Milky White,  their old heifer, and traded her for some little bag of dried up beans.  Magical???  Ha!  Magical.   She threw ’em out the back kitchen window.    Now she ambles off to bed.  Grumbling. Sobbing.   And without a single box of Kleenex in the cottage.   Despondent, he packs his bags and heads for Poland, where his cousin Vladimir lives.

Whatever you do….. never throw away your magic.