Month: March 2013

Painted Eggs. Fast Hares.

 

Here of late, I have heard much ado about the mysterious iconography which surrounds the holiday of Easter.

So.

Let me try my best to explain it to you.

Easter…. you see ….. began thousands of years ago.  It started with the Easter Seals.  The Easter Seals lived far, far away on Easter Island, and mostly laid around all day….  flapping their flippers and balancing balls on  their noses .  The Queen of the Easter Seals had very high cholesterol levels.  And as such, she banned all the Eggs on the island.  She ordered that all the Royal Coins in the Army take care of disposing of ALL eggs.

So on Tuesday,  when the Queen’s Coin Army was to go out….  the Quarters, the Nickels, and the Pennies did not gather.  Only the Dimes showed up.  So the Queen officially named the Crusade, The March of Dimes.

The Marching Dimes’ instructions were to shoot any egg they saw.  And so… the Egg Hunt began.

This scared the Holy Heck out of the Chickens.  So much, in fact… that the chickens ran about, clucking and flapping, and gathering up all the eggs.  They even crossed the road.  And.  Once they had the eggs… they put them ALL in one basket.

Then, the wise Big-Stone-Bobble-Head-Statue of Easter Island ….. boomed out the Wisest of Words.  “Never put all your eggs in one basket.  NO!  Disguise your eggs.  Hide your eggs.  And do it FAST!”

The Chickens agreed.  This was best.  So they painted their eggs many different colors.  But now to hide them?  And fast?

The chickens would need help.

They ran an ad in the newspaper advertising the job.  A hare, and also a tortoise showed up for the interview.
Because of the rabbits speed and agility, he was hired to hide the colored eggs.  In this case, slow and steady did not win the race.

The March of Dimes went on and on and on.  But alas.  The Rabbit of Easter Island did a fine and fabulous job of hiding the eggs.

So the chickens ate lots of candy to celebrate.

They gave the rabbit a  very big farm…. where he could live in secrecy.  And hide the eggs whenever they needed his help.  In the mean time…. he got great reception on any TV he was watching in the house.

And that, is the History of Easter.

“If a coin comes down heads, that means that the possibility of its coming down tails has collapsed. Until that moment the two possibilities were equal.
But on another world, it does come down tails. And when that happens, the two worlds split apart.”
― Philip Pullman, The Golden Compass

Fairy Dust and Rainbow Cake

I haven’t thought about him in quite some time.  But here I am, thinking about the Sandman.

I’ve sang the song…  but other than that… I haven’t given this character much regard, one way or the other.  So.
The Sandman is based on the old bedtime story that parents used to tell their children, hoping it would lull them to sleep. Now, the actual origins of this tale are not very clear.  But they may predate written history.  It does appear that one generation to the next…. passed along this very nifty story (in some variation).  And here we have it.

The story goes like this.  There is an entity that comes to you in that space of time just before you fall asleep.

At some point,  after your eyes close for the last time on any particular night, and just before you fall into a state of unconsciousness…. that little Sandman materializes over you.

Who exactly is he, and why? No one is sure because no one has ever got a good look at him.

Some claim he has a head shaped like the crescent moon, and dark eyes with stars inside them.  Others claim he is bright in every way… like the moon and stars above.  He carries with him a bag of magic sand, and he sprinkles a very small amount over you.

Some say it twinkles in the moonlight, like a thousand tiny stars just over your face as they fall. Some say the sand actually sounds like a music box, or the flitter of faerie wings. No one has ever really heard the sound however, for by the time the sand touches your face and alights about your eyelids, you’re on your way to dreaming.

He does not wish to hurt them, for he is very fond of children.  He comes to  good children, and then they dream the most beautiful stories the whole night.

Since those days of old, people have written different stories about the Sandman, making the depiction of him, quite the inverse tale.  These authors have introduced fear and darkness…making this delightful character into a sinister creature of the night.

I for one, like the good and magical Sandman.  I prefer the pleasant dreams and thoughts of the undiscovered possibilities.
I like to believe in fairy dust, unexplained kindness, elves, and magical sprites.  I love the thought of rainbow cakes, and the voice of the moon.  Yes.  I love the magic.
I do believe in the Good Sandman.  And with that, I wish you “Sweet Dreams.”

“Sleep is the best meditation.”  – Dalai Lama

Over trouble waters….

Lately, it seems I have been using the phrase…”Well, I guess we’ll have to cross that bridge when we come to it.”

But now, I wonder.  Do you really have to cross those bridges?

People do different things with bridges.  Some people burn them.
Others find an alternate route.
And still others will make an attempt to get across, even if goes against their better judgement.

Today, as I drove home, I passed the same old “Road Closed Ahead” sign that I’ve been driving by for about a year or so.  It hit me that the road is closed, because the bridge is no longer passable.  It isn’t safe.  It is broken.  No one in their right mind would try to drive over it.  Barriers have been put in place to keep people from making any attempt of crossing that bridge.

And when it is that clear, and THAT apparent…. perhaps you just shouldn’t cross that particular bridge when you come to it.

You see.  I don’t know how to fix it.  I’ll have to rely on a power greater than I…..  to do that big whopper of a job.

So.  There it is.  I’ll have to find another way.

Or perhaps… maybe I need to find a different creek.

“Sometimes you get the best light from a burning bridge.” – Don Henley

Can it.

 

There are two things I can say tonight.

1.  Have faith in your connection to universal principles.  The Universe will not abandon you if you maintain your connection to it. Keep the faith, and the faith will keep you.  (Or so I speculate.)

2. I wish I had a can of corn… instead of a can of worms.

 

And.  That is all I know about that right now.

 

“Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death!”

– Auntie Mame

Nun other than….

I have known a lot of nuns. Some good. Some bad.

Tonight, I was going through some old family belongings, and I found this photograph from a long time ago.

Yep. A nun I knew. And I was reminded me of a story about her.

When I was pretty little, I was sitting in the doctor’s office.

Now, this here nun came running out of the exam room screaming and yelling. She was so upset, she didn’t even pay her bill, just slammed the door and left.

My Mom and I looked at each other, kind of surprised. About a minute later the doctor came out of his office.

The nurse asked him, “Doctor, what on earth happened in there?” The doctor replied, “Well, I examined her. Then I told her she was pregnant.”

My Mom and I looked at eachother again… kind of embarrassed.

Then the nurse said…. “Pregnant? A nun? That’s impossible!”
The doctor replied…. “I know it. But it sure cured her hiccups.”

“A friend to all is a friend to nun.”  (whoops,  I meant “none”)  – Aristotle

Bank on it.

Today, my brother and I were tooling on down the highway. I was driving.  East on I-70.  I needed to scooch over to make my way to I-75.  And so I began.

My brother said, in a very calm, but stern voice….  “ Polly, there’s someone right beside us.”  Now…. with all that has been going on lately, I thought maybe he was channeling our Dad… or maybe a Grandparent….  right there, IN the car.  He said it again… this time with more emphasis.   “There is someone RIGHT beside us!  Right beside us.”

Well.  Again.  I’m thinking… my bro is starting to sound like the little kid from The Sixth Sense.  So I start looking at the seats in my car, to see if I could see what he was seeing.  And then I caught a glimpse out the back window.  HOLY CRAP! THERE’S SOMEBODY RIGHT BESIDE US…. IN THE NEXT LANE.

I corrected, and it was all fine and good, except for the birds that were flying from inside the other car.  Either that… or they were telling my  that I was #1 with their middle fingers.

At any rate…. once my Bro & I shared what the other was doing and thinking… we laughed and laughed and laughed.  I almost peed I laughed so hard.  And we all know… peeing and driving is not a good thing.

But, in that moment when all of that happened with the lane-switching … I could not understand the obvious.

Some times, it just isn’t so easy to see the obvious.  Like speaking into your phone when someone calls you…. or trying to pull a door open, when the sign on it clearly says push.

The obvious.  That which is easily perceived or understood; clear, self-evident.  The apparent.

And all of THAT reminds me of another old story… a Zen Parable, if you will.

One day a young little Buddhist dude on his big journey home.  So the little guy came to the banks of a wide river.   Staring hopelessly at the great obstacle in front of him…..  he pondered for hours and hours….. on just how to cross such a wide barrier.

Just as he was about to give up his pursuit to continue his journey he saw a great teacher on the other side of the river.  The young Buddhist yelled over to the teacher, “Oh wise one, can you tell me how to get to the other side of this river”?
The teacher pondered for a moment, looked up and down the river and yelled back, “My son, you are on the other side”.

And there you have it.

Obviously.

“If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it well enough” – Albert Einstein

I don’t think you should call me.

I have a cutie-patootie brother. Actually I have two “as cute as they can be” brothers. Each in their own right.

But any way. This is my oldest bro.

The other day… he told me that Mercury was in Retrograde. Now I need Astrology for Dummies to understand these things.

He briefly explained that…. When Mercury starts turning in an apparent backward motion, we will start to feel the effects of this event days or even as far as two weeks earlier. When the planet normalizes we will see the tempo of events pick up in our lives as the planet becomes “stationary” and then speeds forward.

But in the meantime… while it is Wigging Out….. apparently… SO ARE WE.

Communication of all sorts becomes haphazardly.

Well right now… mine stinks. I have written three different pieces tonight, and trashed them all.  The first on the ding dong lawyer who is suing the groundhog.  The second on Matilda Gage.  And the third on effects of pollution.  You see.  I am stumped. Stymied. Stagnant.

So… tonight. I give your Mercury in Retrograde and nothing else.

But just so you know… here are some other things to watch for. When Mercury retrogrades…… “You miss appointments, your computer equipment crashes, checks get lost, you find the car you just purchased during Mercury retrograde is a lemon. (Or, you hate your haircut, the lamp you bought shorts out, your sister hates her birthday gift.) There will be countless delays, cancellations and postponements.”  The crap hits the proverbial fan.

Apparently…. somehow…. all these things will benefit you in the long run. The Astrology Guru’s say “Don’t fight them, although your frustration level and feeling of restlessness will be hard to cope with at times.”

Bet me.

Mercury in Retrograde Sucks. As plain as the planet in your space. Or the nose on your face.
Heck. I can’t even get that right.

Call me……  I think.

Or maybe don’t.

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” – George Bernard Shaw

 

Quarky

I love to learn.  To explore and seek and find.

I have long said that I wish to learn as much as I can about as much as I can.

Here is a something about that.

The smallest know particle to man is still an unknown.  How’s that?  It used to be a quark.  But now they (again, those folks in the lab coats) are finding possibilities of things much smaller.  I think I read just last week that one smaller is called a neutralino, or something along those lines.

And what about the biggest big?  Or more accurately…. the farthest far…. OR REALLY….. the oldest old?

Current observations suggest that the Universe is about 13.7 billion DANG years old.   This is hard for me to wrap my brain around sometimes.
We know that light takes time to travel, so that if we observe an object that is 13 billion light years away, then that light has been traveling towards us for 13 billion years. And that means….. essentially….. we are seeing that objects as they appeared 13 billion years ago.

It continues, I’ll tell you.  You see….  with every year that passes, our newest technology enables us to see further and further back.  OR on and on.

Ah, infinity.    I mean, wholly crap.  In the Milky Way Galaxy alone… there are more than 100 billion planets.

Yes.   I think the possibility of life in other places is quite possible.  Perhaps…. likely.

At any rate, as I meander around this little ball of ours, bumping into walls, and other objects, as I do…. I continue to be filled with wonder.  In between applying band-aids.

Yep.  Wonder.  And thoughts.

Some fall simply into the lines of this:  I don’t think they should be able to issue a Winter Storm Warning once it is officially Spring.  The Weather Service needs to rename this snow event to “Freakish Spring Snow Storm Warning”… because we all know…. Winter is over until the next time around.

Other thoughts go like this:  Calling a “Glue Stick” anything other than a Glue Stick…. would be…. ludicrous.  I can just hear the production meeting now.  “Let’s call it a Glue Tube”… “Oh hey… what about a Glue Rod?  Glue Wand?”   And then Ernie, way down at the end of the table, speaks up over his pocket protector… “What about Glue Stick?”  Yes. Brilliant in every way.  But my guess is, Ernie never got the credit for this one.

You see.  My mind flips from here to there and back again. “Who named Typhoid, Typhoid?”  “What do English Muffins have nooks and crannies?  Why not pockets and crevices?”  “How come I have a reoccurring nightmare in which Lime Jell-O is chasing me?”

With all of this, I came to a revelation today.  There are some things I don’t want to know. There is certain information I don’t want to be privy to.  I simply don’t.  Some things scare me.  Some things are too much for me to think about.  Some are just too sad, or large, or even too complicated.

Sometimes it is good just to be still, and think about breathing.  In and out, and back in again.  That is what I really need to learn about.

One little quark at a time.

“You’re searching, Joe, for things that don’t exist; I mean beginnings. Ends and beginnings — there are no such things. There are only middles.” – Robert Frost

 

Snake… or Cat

I had to post this. Ninja Kitty made me laugh.

We are related….

Wouldn’t you know it?  For some dang reason, the phrase “Well I’ll be a Monkey’s Uncle” has been on my little brain tonight.

I do not know why.  I have been looking for anything else to write about but this.  But guess what.  My goofy noggin keeps coming back to this phrase.  So I may as well explore it.

I’ll be a monkey’s uncle.

Just what does this mean, really?

Well, here is the obvious.

1. If you are an uncle…. you are most likely a man.
2.  Your brother, or your sister has a child of monkey proportions.
3.  The monkey child could be natural born, or it could be adopted.
4.  If adopted, this story could take off in numerous directions (no babies at the orphanage, hence the monkey; the parents have a propensity for primates, etc.)
5.  If the monkey is natural born it could mean a couple of things.  A.) one or both of the parents are monkeys; B.)  a very freak act of nature has occurred.
6.  If the monkey’s parents are monkeys… you could  A.) be a monkey too; or B.) your brother or sister was adopted as a monkey; C.) a freak act of nature.
7. Some affair of sordid proportions occurred somewhere along the lines.

No matter the scenario, there seems to be an awful lot at play here.

Now, this phrase is sometimes used in casual conversation… “Well, I’ll be a monkey’s uncle.”…. which is used to express complete surprise, amazement or disbelief.

In the literal sense, there doesn’t seem to be a lot of surprise involved anywhere.   Unless of course, that # 7 possibility comes in to play.

At any rate.   It was originally a sarcastic remark made by non-believers of evolution.  The “Evolution” which Charles Darwin shared with the world with his 1859 book The Origin of Species, and his 1871 book The Descent of Man.   The notion “that people were descended from apes was considered blasphemous..  by Darwin’s contemporaries”.   And, and, and, it was for this reason that the sarcastic phrase came into use.

Hmmm.  Evolution aside….   today, as with every day … .. … on several occasions… I feel like saying… “I, Polly, am the biggest monkey brain in the world.”

And right now, I have an Aunt who is probably laughing… and definitely saying….

“Well I’ll be a Monkey’s Aunt.”

And I love her for it.

“If you look deeply into the palm of your hand, you will see your parents and all generations of your ancestors. All of them are alive in this moment. Each is present in your body. You are the continuation of each of these people.” – Thich Nhat Hanh