Well, I can hardly let another day pass without mentioning the NCAA Basketball Tournament. If you are not a sports fan, PLEASE stick with me here. I promise not to mention a rebound, jump shot, or even the name of a single player. I will however, speak to the subject of mascots.
I like to pair up these “representative icons” of the different teams. This year in the Men’s Final Four, we have the Bulldogs vs. the Rams. On the other side of the bracket is the Wildcats vs. the Huskies. You can only imagine the fun I might have with this. If you put any or all of these “real life” animals on the basketball court, it is clearly impossible to speculate on the outcome. I bet not a one of them could get the basketball through the 10 ft. high hoop, even once….. or even dribble without traveling three steps, for that matter. However, if they are out fighting in the wild or something, it might be easier to pick the winners. You see, it is all in the context of the battle.
For instance, tonight in Women’s Roundball, it was the Fighting Irish vs. the Volunteers…… again, hard to bet on hoops between those two. But let say the match-up was a Beer Drinking Contest. Easy to pick THAT champion… the Fighting Irish. Now, if it were a pop-quiz on the top 10 survival tactics in the Red Cross How-To Handbook….. easy-peasy-lemon-squeazy….the Volunteers come out on top.
One more observation tonight: This is the year the bracket died in the men’s tournament. Not a single number one seed made it to the Final Four. Those fallen teams included the Buckeyes, the Jayhawks, the Blue Devils, and the Panthers. The mascots are pretty worthless in basketball. If I had a team, I’d call them the “Really Tall Guys” or the “Stealthy Giants” or the “Dead-Eye Dicks” or the “Ball Magicians” You follow my meaning here.
And I retract an earlier statement. Bulldogs DO make GREAT dribblers. In fact, never get in a slobbering contest with a Bulldog. I tried it once. It just wasn’t pretty….. not pretty at all. (I was even wearing my Sock Monkey Hat at the time….)
ADDED NOTE: This sent to me from my good pal Jeff….. and added to the DUBIOUS….. the Buckeye BUYS IT….