No How.

Run, Roger. Run.

 

I’m just saying. If this is the front door, I’m sure as heck not going in through the back door!

Well………that’s not really true.  I mean, I probably would. But there HAVE been times in my life when I’ve said, “No way. No how!” to certain things.

Like the time my friends and I were at this really nice restaurant, and they wanted me to put straws up my nose and do my walrus imitation. I, of course, obliged to that….you all know how I LOVE animals.   I was snorting and sluffing all over the place… head bobbing to and fro… had my hands facing down on the table and wobbled around like a big ol’ walrus. Spilled three water glasses for effect. So…. then…. they wanted me to take the loaf of bread, stuff two olives in the flat side for eyes, make a little mouth hole in it, and do my Bread Man imitation. Well, that ALWAYS sounds like fun to me…. so I did that too.  I get this scary voice on, almost Slingblade-ish, but not quite… and become…..Bread Man.  That little loaf told stories, and jokes, and we laughed so hard. Shoot, one lady peed. I’m not sure if it was really that funny, or if she’s just getting to that age when bladder control becomes bladder out of control. Oh, we went on and on, until the manager asked us to leave. So on the way out, they wanted me to wave goodbye to everyone…..like Queen Elizabeth on the balcony.   I said.. “No way. No how.” (I’m sure you all know why….)

I never can say goodbye….no, no, no, no…..

Uno mas.

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